Liz Ray has Mad Throttle

Getting rear-ended and other misadventures...

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No Fear In This Dojo

no fearThis morning, I pondered the question that all of us face at one point or another in our lives: If a bo-staff-wielding Ninja were to break into my house, am I prepared? Obviously, no one wants the answer to this question to be: “I don’t know” or “Gosh, I’m not sure.” And I for one certainly did not want to be caught unawares. Today’s blog post explores how my scooter and I went about answering this important question. Continue reading

Strawberry Fields Forever

strawberryfieldsThis morning I didn’t have any honey left to put on my cereal.  There were two ways to address this issue: 1) walk over to the supermarket a few blocks from my home and purchase honey — likely in a plastic bottle in the shape of a bear wearing a cone-spout on its head or 2) get on the scooter and ride to some ridiculously far-away place, in search of honey and adventure.  I chose #1 — oh, wait, no I didn’t.  I’m not boring… Continue reading

American Ninja Scooter

review-ninja-250On Friday, May 27th, my loyal scooter performed what is perhaps its greatest service to date: It got me to the live taping of American Ninja Warrior at the scenic “Richmond Power Plant,” way up (way, way up) on North Delaware Avenue.  Are there things in life more important than American Ninja Warrior?  Sure there are.  Football and beer come to mind.  But as it is off-season, ANW stepped up to assume the mantle of Most Important Thing In My Life Right Now.  Continue reading

In Vino Veritas

wine-101_fw_1Intellectual curiosity is important.  Alcohol is important.  Ergo, intellectual curiosity about alcohol is doubly important.  So, I signed up for a series of classes on wine, beer, and bourbon at The Philadelphia Wine School.  Yesterday, I rode the 170i over to Rittenhouse Square for the first class: Wine 101.  (Yes, I rode to a class that involved two hours of drinking wine on an empty stomach.  Then I had to figure out how to get home…) Continue reading

Schrödinger’s Scooter

sch-equationToday I share how I — at my mother’s request — existed in a state of quantum paradox, simultaneously both going and not going to Lowes (and then to Target, and then to Home Depot) to buy my mother an outdoor thermometer (which she wanted for inside her house).  Continue reading

Liz Ray v. Pizza Box (or, Why Simple Things Are Never Easy)

pizza_boxIf Jason Statham were cast in a movie to play me, he’d be transporting stuff on a pink 170i Buddy, which – as we all know – is far superior to a BMW 750i E38 or an Audi A8L W12. Someone once said that if all you have is a hammer, then every problem looks like a nail.  (I actually own several different styles of hammer – including a ball-peen (not kidding – it was a gift – I’m the girl you give a hammer to) – so I’m particularly adept at applying amplified impact force via stored kinetic energy to whatever situation I encounter.  (I once tore down an entire wall with just a straight-claw hammer, but that’s a tale for another day…)) A corollary to the Hammer Rule is this: When all you have is a scooter, everything you need to transport has to fit on the scooter… No matter what it is… shit’s gotta fit.  Today, I reflect on “weird shit I’ve carried,” why pizza boxes are a pain in the ass, and why, a priori, I am cooler than Jason Statham. Continue reading

Dropping Bikes & the Importance of Failure

dropped-motorcycle-750x480 The one year anniversary of the second time I dropped my BMW C600s is in a few days. We have all done it. It is something we learn from. It is failure.

Society does not tell us to put on our pants, get out there, and fail. No one ever said, “Lose one for the Gipper.” Bikes are born to be ridden, not dropped unceremoniously onto their sides.  But mine are… Continue reading

A Tale of Two Donuts

Two DonutsIt was the best of times, it was the time I got a donut.  But not just one donut, two donuts.  Because “A Tale of Two Donuts” is a witty Dickensian reference.  “A Tale of One Donut” is one donut shy of a witty Dickensian reference.  Everyone knows that the Breakfast of Champions is Wheaties.  But who wants to be a champion when you can have donuts instead.  And that is why today I got on my scooter in search of them. Continue reading

I-95 Happens

I-95 shieldI thought about scooting to the Aldi on Oregon Avenue today, but when I opened my front door, the balmy essence of Zero Kelvin hit me in the face like a brick. Not a temperature compatible with human life, let alone riding to Aldi. As I closed my door against groceries and certain frostbite, I fondly recalled the time last summer when I rode down to Dewey Beach with a friend… Continue reading

Carter-Era Tannenbaum

scooter ornament 1

Yesterday I rode my scooter to work in the pouring rain.  I needed the bike in order to transport precious cargo home from the office.  What precious cargo?  Gold?  Diamonds?  Bacon?  No, replacement branches for a late 1970s silver aluminum Christmas tree.

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